Tuesday, May 17, 2016

My New Deodorant Smells Like a Sanitary Disposal Bin...

Which El Stinko! deodorant would you use? Take the poll!
Okay, so Hunter threw my deodorant out the bathroom window.

Sadly I'm not like my husband who doesn't sweat, treks across mountain ranges with heavy camera gear and still smells as sweet as a rose. Bastard.


Nope, I've got some stinky pheromones, I NEED deodorant - if I don’t wear it I smell like a Pakistani cab driver in Sydney*. So if I had to go live on a desert island (you know how kids always ask you these questions?) I’d choose deodorant over a live chicken. THAT’S how much I need it.


So when Hunter threw my deodorant out the bathroom window I ended up buying not one, but two, to replace it. The first one sucked, it made my underarms all sticky and wet like a rainforest and by the time I went to pick up the kids from school I had stuck squares of toilet paper under my arms - I didn’t smell but I felt like a collage.


The second one was a stick, not a roll-on, but it smelt… unpleasant. I couldn’t place it at first 'coz I was busy and I was sick of thinking about my underarms, but it bothered me and then I realised why - the smell reminded me of a public toilet. Not the horrible fake perfume they spray these days out of automated boxes on the walls, (my nose had gone into a kind of detective mode by now) but the smell of a sanitary disposal bin. Seriously.


I’m wondering who did the market research for Rexona on this product and if they were on drugs at the time.


ANY fragrance would have been better. Here’s a few examples:


1. Lavender or Sanitary Bin.
2. Sweet Pea or Sanitary Bin.
3. Citrus or Sanitary Bin.
4. Fucking Anything or Sanitary Bin.

Hello???! EVERY woman knows the smell of Sanitary Bin and hates it.


Maybe they skipped the market research and just bought a load of cheap chemical fragrance, like the stuff they use at the dog groomers to mask the smell of wet dog.


So here’s another option:


5. Dandy Wet Dog or Sanitary Bin.

Obviously I would take Dandy Wet Dog, but I’m stuck with Sanitary Bin until I get back to the supermarket.


And the only thing that smells worse is me au naturel, so don’t stand near me when I’m in the line to get my coffee up at Unwritten - I haven’t been bathing in Bloo Loo, I’ve just bought a really crap deodorant.


So! Tell me…

Which smell would you go with?


*This is not a racist comment, this is just obvious if you live in Sydney and catch taxis.

#humor #lmao #sundayfunday #toofunny #comedycentral #funny #lol #parentingfail

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